desire#

desire#

last time i used to want something so desprately til i could even cry everynight for it.

seeing peoeple playing it was the most heartbreaking moment ever. i envy people. i thought that i was the only one that's suffering . i thought that i could live without it . i thought ... i thought... i was meant to be with it only.. nothing else.

but then i was wrong once again , now i got parent's permission to learn it... but i no longer feel the love i felt last time .

last time , whenever i listen to its playing , i feel love , i feel kindness .. warmness.. everything that defines love (;

when im sad , i could even cry like a babi bcuz its playing is so emotional.

i cry . i cry & cry again for it .

i hope , i wish to play it with my bare hand . i thought it was the only thing that can bring me happiness.

but now my wish came true . but i dont know what to do anymore.

what's wrong with me ?
everything i desire cametrue but i just dont feel the way i used to felt before.

i want to gain back those feeling of love ... feeling of sadness...

maybe im just like that ..

maybe i will only like a thing for temporary

maybe it's like a replacing for the actual thing?

maybe.....idono ;(